Never sent Drafts...

Never sent  Drafts ( June 2002)

Hi Dear!

             Just had a word with you, though not for so long as you were having flight to catch.... as i told you i tried stopping myself not to call you or talk to you, but then i thought grudges are not to be kept for long, you never know it is the last time you are talking to the person ?

anyways,   i was going through your sweet binani  cement  diary where  once you had poured your heart out to me , it just touches me when i think it was a beautiful, relationship, which started as a  bit affection,  then friendship,  then  converted into a deep love relationship.(at least for me, not sure about you)

Ask you one thing? can u really forget the moments we had together, the talks we had, the kind of things we said to each other, the manner we perceived each other, the courage we gathered for all those stuff, the  unsaid feelings n emotions which we hardly used to express to each other because of so much of social barriers, the joy n satisfaction we used to derive from each others company, the tension we both went thru,n most important the natural intimacy that we shared...n so many things...... ???(Answer me honestly if possible for you)

The way i used to trust you blindly for everything, yes everything, your advice, your words, your touch, as if you owe me!! And a sudden shock to me when one day i find, that the same person has left me forever..I wish if u could feel the pain i went through. Now was it just an infatuation of mine towards you for sometime?? i wanted to find out . then i found out  the great part that i still somewhere after so much of denial, confess the fact that  even today i m just unable to hate you.. Would you call it infatuation? Does an infatuation continue for 3 long years? And when I could easily get anybody in my life if i wanted? Answer these questions if u can...

Let me repeat your words that..."its not wrong to love somebody, even if the situation isnt in your favour, but in every case you should be aware of your correct way as well. Even if we love we cannot afford to forget our other responsibilities. Commitments, n we need eachothers moral support, like a true friend who love each other purely n truely.Can you lend me your loving hand and show me my path to success n happiness? my love for you will always remain same for you wherever i go, whatever i do.jst be my good friend, n put faith in me, let me do something for you n make this world a  better place to live for both of us , even being far away. lets make our love more meaningful nn enjoyable .lets give our relationship a name- "success" rather to define it, to regret, or to blame it. Lets respect the love we share, Let our love be a secret for our good.. Trust me.. just trust me.. its for our good..” do you agree on your own words?? i do! Then why are you not with me.. u promised we will never be separated mentally at least..???Then come on.. Show up..

Don’t know how you will take all this? I hope I receive answers to all my questions someday. It will happen only when I send this to you.

And trying my level best to click on send button so that it reaches you finally yes even after 3 years…. I know it wont change you.. And yes I know you are doing this for our good but still. i will still wait...wait endlessly for your revert....don't want anything from you except few answers for my questions, explanation for do I really deserve gifting me this mental loneliness forever?? Lots to talk, u know...hope i get that one day with you with no social and mental barriers…. I know its difficult still I shall remain alive in that hope .

Love ...

“Some people are going to leave, but that's not the end of your story. That's just the end of their part in your story.” 

And this piece never left the draft folder and those entire questions till date remains unanswered.

We all must be having many such old drafts/thoughts  in our mails or minds or heart which never got poured out…but still these thoughts whenever we go through them years after years comfort us , leaves us feeling nostalgic…Life cant offer us presence of some people around us all the time but he makes sure you come across something randomly which connects you with them with the most genuine emotions during those seconds.. So true!:-)

Drafts …. Unsent Drafts…..

"First unexpressed feeling are the most natural and sacred"

Stay Blessed:-) J